so as many of you may have heard my dad's mother, my lola laling passed away saturday morning, the family is totally ok, we have speculated her going to the Lord for a couple of years now so ya we are at peace with it. as for my family tunrs out all of them are going to the PI for her funeral, except me of course cuz i have work and i start school next week, so if you are reading this, i am having a little kick back at my house this saturday, the 3rd! and not many people read this so if u invited! but its BYOB if you dont know what that means then dont go! lol k ill blog more later peace!

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So my manager said to be here at 9 o clock and im sitting in my car and it is now 9:15 and turns out its our assistant manager opening with me and she doesnt drive, shes preety lazy and doesnt do much, so i would expect her to be here at 9:30 like we usually do, pretty gay cuz thats an extra 30 min of money that i miss out on! plus all the waiting in the car!! man this is so much more convenient doing this on my phone, since im always on it then on my computer plus now i can put down thoughts on the spot rather than at the end of the day when i forgot 80% of what did lol so anyways christmas was awesome! went to the 11 o clock service and spent the first few minutes of christmas holding a candle with the congregation praiseing and thanking God twas nice! then we opened presents and i got my missions money that i wanted! :) then greeted everyone else via text a merry christmas! and hit
the sac around 3. wow the bad part about this is there is a 2-3 second delay after i have typed!

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holy crap! genelle i figured

holy crap! genelle i figured out how to blog from my phone! this is so tight!! and it doesnt show that whole verizon thing!

hhmm does this really work

hhmm does this really work on my phone?

things are different

and im ok with it, i guess u just gotta roll with the punches right? at least i made new friends!

I honestly....

Don't want to talk to anyone for a while. And thanks for the talk kimi and jim!

I cant believe....

I lost my wallet, i have no ideo where it is....

This weekend was...

SIMPLY AMAZING! i am a part of core!!! YAY! LOL SCARED AND EXCITED! I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO RIGHT NOW SO ILL KEEP IT SHORT! SO I GUESS SOMEONE CHANGED THE BACKGROUND OF MY BLOGGER? WEIRD...

Happy Thanksgiving!!

thats all i have to say! OH AND I THANKS GOD FOR ALL YOU WHO READ THIS! YES YOU ERIKA, GENELLE, EUNICE AND ARLAINE!

i am seriously

starting to get tired of blogging, i mean i have a lot to sa, im just too lazy to type it! :/ there is no more motivation!

so guess where i am?

Well ill tell you where im not! im not in my bio lecture! HAHA im here in the cafe doing stuff for church trying to do my bio lab and chem lab blah blah blah KEY WORDS IS TRYING :D

So the elections are over and you know what congrats to Barack Obama on being the 44th President. The elections are over so there no point hating or talking smack cuz at the end of the day Obama is our President. And as i have learned through the passed week. If we PRAYED as much as we COMPLAINED about this country and its leadership and govenment. This country, government and its leaders would be a lot better off. So all i can say is everyone please pray for obama, it says in the bible to pray for our leaders, even if we dont agree with some of their beliefs, we are still under them so we must pray that God will guide him into making the right decisions.

At least we won 1 battle, Prop 8. These passed few months have really challenged my belief system especially because this. ive seen so many arguements for and against and studied it pretty well and have realized flaws on both sides but mostly of the No on prop 8 side. I have tremendous respect for all those who have down their research. As long as you know about the subject and done your own thinking then kudos to you. Its those ignorant ones that just follow the media and who ever else they listen to and believe everything they say. Im not only talking about the No on prop 8 but also the yes. Ive learned through my cousin carol that we as christians really need to look into these types of matters and not follow what the religious institution says we must follow. My pastors are always telling me "dont take my word for it look it up in the scripture to see its biblical and im not just blowing smoke".

I assure you i have looked through both sides and its still obvious that prop 8 is the right choice. If you you look at the CALIFORNIA FAMILY CODE SECTION 297.5 it clearly states

"297.5. (a) Registered domestic partners shall have the same rights,
protections, and benefits, and shall be subject to the same
responsibilities, obligations, and duties under law, whether they
derive from statutes, administrative regulations, court rules,
government policies, common law, or any other provisions or sources
of law, as are granted to and imposed upon spouses."

So please someone tell me what is it about, If they have the same "rights" as a married couple already what is it about? is it all for the name? i really dont understand whats the purpose. Because if it were to pass and people tried to get married in churches where they were refused, it becomes a descrimination law suit and obviously the church loses. How is a church supposed to do something that clearly states in the bible we can not do because it is sin. Are they not imposing their beliefs and values unto us? And dont anyone tell me that would have never happened cuz it already did in a few states in the east coast. Churches have lost their tax benefits because they were sued because of descrimination for not marrying a gay couple.

Man i get so heated with this arguement. i have so many thoughts running through my head. i gotta calm down.

Ok so i dont mean to sound like a super anti gay activists, because truth be told i was really against prop 8, i realized because of the whole seperation between church and state, under that law we really have no say as a church because it becomes a civil rights issure no an ethical issue. But when i found section 297.5 it all changed because they all have the same rights already so i realy dont understand what all the fuss is about. If someone can explain please do!

Ok im done blogging its tiring, to think so much peace!

I JUST VOTED!

LIKE 15 MINUTES AGO! YAY! GO MCCAIN, PROP 4 AND 8!

SO TODAY I

Went on myspace >.< But i promise i only went on there to post up the proposition 8 video!! and i will go on again tonight and maybe 2morrow but i promised that it!!! Let us pray for our state people!

K i guess its time to do chemistry homework...... yay....

Almost forgot!

day 3 all i gotta say is HAHA!

SSSoooo

Im starting to get realy lazy with blogging when im at home so i decided to ditch my chem friends sit in front of my lecture classes and blog for the next 20 minutes haha

So i got my quiz back from chem that i took last week and i got a B! haha better then i expected to get! hopefully i can pull of an A in this class but i guess i can settle for a B. I am finall starting to do things i said i would do and getting things done! The thing is im not going to classes so i can do it >.<

But its kool! hmm in chem classes today i almost died because my friend broke the thermometer and it smelled horrible! we all thought it was mercury in it and as you chem people know its toxic like a MOTHA! but it was just alcohol :)

hopefully this week gets fun! i got to work 5 1/2 hours monday thursday i should work like 7 and friday i am working 9 hours!!! BANK BANK BANK! and i hope erika cant make it on saturday so genelle can go with me to jesse's play! :D just kidding! if she does go with erika i will probably go to the movies by myself and chhhhiillll lol anyone wanna join?!

Ive been feelin eehhh right now with my walk, i guess i just gotta force myself to get into it, read my books, my bible, and do my devotions! Even if i dont want to >.< I gotta make that sacrificial praise right?!?! ok i guess chem is going to start soon so ill ttyl! peace

day 2

even easier! lol

Day 1

without myspace. Not so bad! lol this is gonna be a piece of cake!

This past week.....

So what can i say abotu this past week? well not very much i guess :/ i dont know, just information that has come to my attention made, what was supposed to be one of my funnest weeks ever, to not really feelin it. Ive been kinda down and emo this past week just because i found things out and its like meh affecting my mood, pretty wack. and i learned at church wednesday that WHAT? "DONT LET OTHER PEOPLES ACTIONS AFFECT YOUR ATTITUDE" ive learned that this is WAY easier said then done, i know that ya i joke around with people abotu it, but when it comes down to the serious business i try not to, but it still does and i apologize for ruining the mod or the moment, people just dont understand, and if you dont know, then that either means we dont talk all that much or its about you. so its just gonna take some time i guess to get out of this slump.

This week was supposed to be awesome! since it was scion night and we went to knotts on thursday but i found myself wednesday driving and just wanted to leave covina and go drive somewhere far far away, i guess just the stresses of life finally getting to me, since ive taken this semester WAY too lightly. But this week wasnt a total bust i was able to play with pastor mels band and it was an awesome experience and i got to "study" with genelle at denny's but we just ended up talking the whole time and that was a really fun experience. Then i went to Eunice's hosue and we played rockband, and watched "Another Cinderella Story" CORNY! oh and she made me break the drums for rockband lol by kicking me and making me fall on it! >.<

So another thing i noticed is that today during church at oasisi found myself having a hard time worshiping God. and i realized, that these past few months since ive taken up more responsibilities at church, its been all work. How to make youth better, How to get people involved, how to get people to open, up, making lineups, calling people to play for friday and what not. i dont have as much time to just sit down and bask in God's presence and really feel him you know? i just ask you guys to keep me in your prayers and just hopefully it was a one time thing feelin like that, cuz i honestly felt empty and jealous that everyone around me was passionately worshiping God but i couldnt even when i tried :/

Lastly i wanna say sorry again for the people i made angry this past week, its really hard for me to talk to you people right now jsut cuz everything is hitting me at once and i really dont know what to do anymore, so please bare with me because im afraid if i talk to any of you people, im gonna end up blowing up in your face and just TOTALLY ruining our friendship, if it hasnt already been ruined :/ k peace

AJ Rafael "Something Happens"

I dedicate this song to genelle and myself lol listen to it, good song! :/ again, you people dont know what im talking about! actually as the days go by more and more of you find out so i guess not :/

What genelle said

nuff said. lol ok well maybe a little more said haha. IF you dont know the story then you dont need to know!! haha you gotta know what what my life is in order to know what too look for in genelles blogger! haha sucka! mann stupid library wont open yet! jeez i gotta do chem hw! lol

Yay im learnign about Meiosis!

man bio sucks haha, but ya yesterday was an interesting day, full of so many different emotions! i got my test back from human sexuality that i didnt study AT ALL i mean literally looked at nothing thought i would fail, but i got a 72 and turns out no one got an A so she is curving it lol which probably means i got a B haha freaken awesome! then somethign funny happened before that but meh dont wanna say lol inside joke! RIGHT GENELLE? i noticed that everything i talk about basically genelle is the only one tha knows what im talking about ahha
But anyway hope all of you guys are doing good im too lazy to really blog cuz i wanna watch my one tree hill episode since i missed it because of heroes! haha k ill blog later PEACE!

You know what i HATE!

Big guhe guys, or just guys who think they are all kool wearing little girl backpacks, some huge samaon football player just passed me wearing a little mermaid backpack. I swear why do they do that? is it because they know no one will mess with them for it? its like wow you are super KOOL because you are wearing al ittle girls backpack, these are times when i wished i went to a university instead of mt sac. I tell this to my friends who do go to them "you guys are so lucky because you know when you walk through your campus no one here is an idiot or a moron" because you had to have some brains to get into a UC and most, if not all of those people probably wont be walking around UCI or Berkeley wearing a freaken little mermaid backpack. I gotta get out of here to experience the college life :/

i FIND IT FUNNY HOW

We use blogs to show express our inner most feelings, or well to be able to vent out and tell the world how we really feel without really offending anyone directly in the process. But ive come across so many blogs including mine, find it it hard to express their true feelings on this such as Love or who they like for fear that the person is going to read it even though you dont state the name everyone can pretty much guess who you are talking about UNLESS you are really good , like me :) lol

But really whats the purpose of using a blog when you can express your true feelings about things.maybe its just a way to tell people about your day? or a way to be able to cuss out the person that pissed you off today without telling them in their face?

Theres only 1 person i know who isnt afraid to say how she really feels about EVERYTHING thats YOU genelle! lol you have some guts woman, you are lucky he doesnt go online, let alone go on your blogger! lol maybe thats why you are able to say that much? haha i was gonna tell him to on your's too lol! k i guess its time to study peace yall!

Yesterday!

Was freaken incredible! WELL MAYBE NOT THE DAY but last night was so tight!! im clubbin at irvine every time now! screw hollywood!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

eunice, priscilla, zeph, justin!

yay bio class

learning about g1 phase S phase G2 phase and M phase...... blah blah blah cell cycle, blah! haha its boring, but at least i finally know how to do the rubiks cube! :) man this is hard :( but you gotta do what you gotta do right? if you dont know what im talking about then you're not important enough to know about~! JUST KIDDING :)

my weekend

was fun. dont feel like blogging about it. hAPPY BIRTHDAY ate melorie! AND TO THE 8 PEOPLE WHOS BIRTHDAYS ARE 2MORROW! ill probably blog in an hour when im in bio class :D

QUOTE OF THE YEAR

"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..."

:) I hope! LOL some of you think you know what im talking about but you really have no idea!

Outraged!

So i didnt go to bio lecture today, lol thats why ther eis no post at 10 in the morning haha i didnt wake up early enough! or at least didnt wanna have to find parking so i stayed home till lab at 12 and went into it, i swear these people are retarded, this girl is complaing how she gets horrible quiz grades in the lab, shes getitng like 5 out of 10, i dont even study and i at least get 8, while shes outside readin gthe whole lab! its nuts! ok so thats not why im outraged, after class i went home had a good heart to heart with genelle, thanks again for bringing me back to reality! :) i went to work and found out that they we are sellign the pizza's for 6 DOLLARS NOW! if its not a pepperoni or cheese! can u believe that! thats so retarded, if you know how it works it really screws up the system because a hawaiian pizza is still 6.50, 7.04 with tax which means 5 for the pineapple and 1.50 for the ham (or any extra topping) so that makes no sense how it can still be the same, because they are paying 6.50 with tax for a different topping and paying only 50 cents more when you buy a hawaiin. its just really retarded to me because ive seen it when everything was still the same:
large pizza's (any 1 topping)$5,
deepdish $6,
crazy bread $1
italian cheesebread 2.50
This was all in the beginning of the year now the prices are:
Large pizza (different topping) $6
Deep Dish $7
crazy bread 1.50
italian cheesebread $3.50

its nuts how they have just suddenly raised all the prices! im jsut mad for the customers sake even though i get everything the original price also with a discount cuz im G like that! lol but this is also info for all you readers! little caesars is getting wack!

Word of the day "WOW" haha inside joke?

been a while sicne ive done a blog! interesting, well not much has gone one here, im just enjoying my life one day at a time, well actually theres has been a lot that has happened haha but its so much that i dont really feel like talking about it ill just start with yesterday. hmmm went to church had core meeting then kicked it with kimi halcon eunice my sis and mike, went to glendale and chilled at the frogs for a good hour brainstorming about possible ideas for talent night. Then we went to the holloween store and played with masks, eunice' mask was pretty scary, well it was actually her face! HAHa! THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG FOR THE FIRST TIME LIKE 20 MINUTES AGO EUNICE! well then we went to drop eunice off at rizzas hosue and ended up staying and eating and watching rizza's debut haha. then i dropped everyone else off and went home procrastinated on my project which was due today! and didnt study at all for my chem exam, which was today!

So this morning i woke up at 4 to wake eunice up then went back to sleep only to be waken up by her at 6! :( then i went to school at 7 stayed in the library to finish up my project (had to make a freaken movie all by myself since my group didnt show up....) then i studied like 15 minutes for my chem exam. Then at 1130 i took the exam and found out i got the right answers!! haha well for the most part so im not that scared to look at my score!. then i went to my human sexuality class that i woke early for and rushed to finish the project only to have the teacher say we didnt have enough time to get to us so we would do it wednesday, today was like a reoccurance of last semester stressing out till the very last minute when it was just now or never. man i really cant handle those days anymore, they are just too BLAH! haha k im done

dont you like my blogs they are straight to the point, no BS no thoughts really they just tell you about my day. theres no whinning and complaing of how much it sucks and going on with why im unhappy or happy, not to disrespect all you fellow bloggers out there thats kool, its just not my style, unless of cours its something tragic? or maybe im just a hypocrit and nothing remotely bad is happening to me at this point of my life. WE SHALL SEE!

So yesterday was AWESOME!

first of all I GOT TO GO TO CHURCH! :) we should all be happy that we live in a country that give us religious freedom, and it is a Huge privileged to be able to go to CHURCH! :) thats my new mindset and that's what yours should be also. I'm trying to teach myself to say "Oh sorry i cant go i GET to go to church today" not "I HAVE to go to church today" YOU TRY IT :)

Ok so second best thing that happened to me i was able to go to my FIRST dodger game!! IT WAS FREAKEN GREAT! WWAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY BETTER than on TV. Doing the wave, screaming at the umpire hitting beach balls all around lol eating 5 dollar hotdogs and 6 dollar cups of soda MmMmM LOL twas very fun! then we went to JJ's cafe and chilled and aite and got murdered by eunice in our sugar game :/ thank goodness she has a heart and didnt make me eat the 4 packs of sugar THANKS EUNICE! even thogh u dont read this lol. then i took erika and eunice to burbank and we rocked out in my car the whole time there! it was FUN! LOL then i went home to procrastinate on my hw which i just finished right now in the library!

last thing FREAKEN HEROES TONIGHT AT 9? I THINK OR MAYBE 8 IF ITS A 2 HOUR PREMIER!

Instigator!

oh gee give everyone a break & just act like you actually care; a real daughter would comfort her dad in these times... & why can't you just get a life! you're such a PATHETIC DRAMA QUEEEN!!!!!!

ouch that was harsh! who ever said that! lol

You know what

for those of you who read this, genelle and arlaine, have i not been doing good lately?! lol ive really kept up on this blogging thing! bad thing is its every time im bored or in my bio class, which means im not listening. But its ok since i pretyy much know most of it lol i mean ATP? come on they are made by the mitochondria "the powerhouse of the cell" and are used for energy! lol and i wasnt even listening its just from what i know lol. but ya at least there is never a blog while im in my chem class, cuz then that would be horrible! cuz that class i really need to listen i have to memorize the first 54 elements on the periodical table, how to spell and their abreviations :/ it not that hard but ehhh lol at least we dont have to memorize their atomic number or mass! lol well ya 1 more day and its youthnight! yay!
So yesterday i ditched human sexuality so i can go to the gym workout and soom to mikes house to meet my sister so she could drive to LA. We then went to Cal state LA so she could pay for her classes, no hot girls btw :(, she then bought me a lifesavers popsicle, best popsicle i have ever tasted in my LIFE! and then we tried to get condoms for my human sexuality class for a project lol but the health center was closed, then we went to church to meet up with mike and we all carpools to american where we met up with genelle! :D we were able to ride the trolly twice and final see the water show! it kool lol and we got pretty wet, then we met up with jim and halcon at COH went to mike restaraunt helped them close or eat the rest of their chinese food and ended up going to Master Chef in china town.
Then from there we had a pretty hilarious night with Wich, Beto, Jason, and jamie pretty hilarious folks! man why couldnt we do days like this in the summer? :/ all good though, its happening now! oh and thanks genelle for coming out early to chill with us even though u didnt have to or want to :D i wasnt a third wheel anymore! lol

old habits die hard

i find myself looking at her myspace and facebook again and its starting to get to me again :/ i see her talking to boys and its like eehhh. man i really need to get over this!! i hope she finds someone new soon so we can both get over eachother completely :/

im here right in front of bio, waiting for my teacher

we have a quiz i havent studied, i didnt do the lab in my next class and we also have a quiz which i obviously could not have studied.... and im still gonna ace everything! MMWWAAAHAHAH im excited for friday!!! we get to fellowship with another youth! about freaken time! and i want to give a shout out to the retard that changed my name lol talk about immature! HAHA you know who you are ahemahemgenelleahemahem lol jk..... 10 minutes later 7 more minutes and we could have left! freaken wack! stupid bio teacher! Man someone near me smells really musty, GROSS, and no its not me genelle! i checked already haha alright time for my quiz

girls

can get pretty retarded sometimes, thats why i guess im single :)

I almost forgot LET US PRAY

for the families that lost love ones 7 years ago this day. thank God for his grace that another attack has not happened the last 7 years! hope you all have a great day! WOW 3 POSTS IN 1 DAY IM FREAKEN BORED!

CAN ANYONE HELP ME?!

i want to fix up this blogger! i dont know how to though?! how do u subscribe to people so it shows on the left? and so i dont have to look around on peoples bloggers or livejournals to look for others! k thanks!

Bio lab

so im here chillin in my bio 1 lecture, bored as heck! i really dont want to go to this lecture AT ALL anymore because all he does is literally read off the power point and occasionally add some nonsense facts that are sometime irrelivent to what we are supposed to be learning. Now dont get me wrong he is an easy chill teacher, i feel like im in a lecture for a university because he doesnt teach us like children and he teaches us like we are supposed to know these things. Its funny because if I hadnt taken anatomy, microbiology, physiology, and nutrition already i wouldnt have a clue of what hes talking about, i learned all this already and i can just imagine what everone else is thinking because this class is really the first science class someone is supposed to take. Yay hes talking aboutu lipids and the nutritional value and its breakdown of what they are made of! lol
Alright so anways been a while since i posted something on this. since the first day of school! 16 days ago! well school is easy, life is chill, just enjoying this semester cruising it all the way BABY! made a lot of new friends, a few hott ones =) haha and a shout out to GENELLE cuz she is one of the only people who reads this, but i dont think you read this anymore because i havent written in it in a while! haha you better have taken lots of pics with your hott friends last night!! haha man this class is boring!!! i hate it so much! "did you know that cholesterol is a lipid that serves an important function in cells? HOWEVER elevated levels of cholesterol and fats in the blood can be detrimental to health" THIS IS HOW BORED I AM! yay NOW PROTEINS!
OK OK OK im done, so i cant wait for 2morrow i get my new voyager! and to the brooke fraser concert! YES!! LOL but i can wait for today because right after this class i gotta zoom home get changed and go back to work =( ive been off for 3 weeks and it felt awesome! but you gotta earn that chedder i guess :/ alright i guess thats it for now back to surfing the web not listening to my teacher lecture! haha PEACE! ONE LOVE!

my post under this

is my schedule for the semester so ya you know where im at! so my first day was alright, chill, kinda wack cuz there were no GIRLS! MT SAC FAILS FOR MONDAY! but 2morrow is a new first day! lol so hpefully i got some for my bio class! k night!

first day of school .....

Total Registered Credit Units: 12.0

Class Type Ref. No. Course ID Units Days Hours Bldg/Room Dates Instructor Status Drop Code CR 117803 BIOL1 4 TTh 9:45AM-11:10AM 14-1 08/25 -12/14 MC CABE, D Enrolled CR 117803 4 T 12:00PM-3:10PM 7-1111 08/25 -12/14 Enrolled CR 118169 BIOL15 3 MW 2:15PM-3:40PM 7-1209 08/25 -12/14 HOGGAN, L Enrolled CR 117391 CHEM10 4 MW 11:30AM-12:55PM 7-1114 08/25 -12/14 GOLESTANEH, K Enrolled CR 117391 4 M 1:05PM-2:10PM 7-1114 08/25 -12/14 GOLESTANEH, K Enrolled CR 117391 4 W 8:00AM-11:10AM 60-3601 08/25 -12/14 GOLESTANEH, K Enrolled CR 117253 PE-F10 1 Arrange 3.00 hours 50G-WT1 08/25 -12/14 BUFF, H

my week..

HAS BEEN INCREDIBLE! monday went to six flags and chilled with the church peeps! even though it closed at 8 still had an amazing day with them, especially on gold rusher with our sock fest! i slept over erikas house adn chilled with her and rizza on tuesday, went to topenga mall bought a vest from H&M and took pics at the mac store. Then baked a cake, made banana tempura, glazed apples, spam masubi, and corn beef! lol then me and erika washed my car and her van and had some one on one time with her. it was a very awesome day! EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS BEING MAARTE IN THE MORNING! lol and today was boring! haha well as u can see i get straight to the point not bothering to double check grammar or spelling errors, this aint no english class so i dont care! SUCKA! PEACE!

So i know no one reads this

so i can pretty much say what ever i want, talk crap about people, cuss, be perverted, too bad i dont do that online lol so im here at morongo and its awesome! just chilling here not gambling, swimming and getting tips from my parents because of being good luck! i feel i havent done anything big this summer, but then again i went to worship conference, Fil am at santa maria, and went to vegas for a week for my birthday. but i guess that was all dont the last week of june and the first 2 weeks of july, havent done anything else but go to six flags! :( i need to hang out with people!

LIFE IS..

is good! but summer is boring, happy ARLAINE? lol

VEGAS

so far ive been here for 3 days and its been pretty good, haven't done anything but i've gotten to know mikes friends and brother, and thats what i really wanted to do. but ya i was able to go to the best BUFFET in vegas at the rio, 26 bucks a person, and it really is the BEST AND BIGGEST buffet i have ever been too! if you are reading this you need to go to this buffet its called the CARNIVAL WORLD BUFFET! freaken BOMB! but ya started today imma walk the strip and actually party at night instead of watch tv and text eunice or erika at night lol. so ya i had a party last saturday and it was my first kickback/party and the best night and worse nextmorning/day of my life. first time getting drunk and i never want to do it again, im never drinking SKY vodka EVER! but it was still a good experience, i want to thank kimi and jc for having my back and making me throw up because it was for the best, also thanks JC for trying to stick your finger down my throat and cleaning up my vomit after i knocked over the bucket, also thanks tim for changing me in my parents room lol after jim and kimi pushed me into the pool! and thanks to everyone else for being there! it was seriously awesome!!! :) alright im done now!

I think

im gonna stop trying....

ITS....

not getting any easier, all i do is watch youtube videos all day :/

First post Ever

So i never thought i would use this crap, EVER i signed up for this for an online philosophy class which i dropped in the winter. I haven't touched this thing since. But now i cant seem to do anything because all i can think about is her. So i guess ill just express everything through this crap. So we just broke up yesterday and i know it was for the best, it was one of the hardest things ive ever had to do in my life, i thought i was ready, this passed weekend i was sure of it, i was gonna visit her at UCI sit her down, talk about our relationship see how she though of it, tell her what i thought and BAM! But when it came to it it was fully of tears sobbing and incomplete sentences, almost all of it from me. How do you tell someone that you were sure you were gonna marry that you can no longer be with them because of what God wants for you. It just seemed so i dont know, not good enough? I explained it pretty well to her and she understood and got where i was coming from, which made it so much harder, how can the girl that i love and that seems to be perfect for me, not be the one for ME? It sucks because she WAS/IS the perfect girl, but the fact that God is not number 1 in her life, makes her unperfect. I know this is what i needed to do, but now that I've done it, i cant stop thinking about her. This was the worst time to do it also our 2 years is this Friday and i have nothing to do for this summer but work, so im stuck at home doing nothing but looking at her myspace and facebook all day, seeing how much of it she changes, refreshing her site 10 times a minute. I need to do something, but what? I know this is the Time to focus on God but its so hard, i have so much to do yet, i say i have nothing to do? kinda stupid, im just being lazy i guess. all i want to do is just sit and sulk. Its kind of funny because not a lot of people know yet, i dont even think my group of friends know yet, EVERYONE though we were the perfect couple, but no one knew how i felt inside, how much God was nagging at my heart on how this relationship was wrong. I just hope if anyone reads this they understand why i did. If this even makes sense, im pretty much all over the place right now, this is my firs time doing this since XANGA which was like 6 years ago so im a little rusty with the order of things this is just to help out to vent with how i feel so i can stop being like THIS! aaahhhh THANKS GENELLE ARROYO for recommending this lol i hope o spelled your last name right! ok off to the salvation army! PEACE!