you know ive been trying so hard to make things better. tonight i decided to make my final push to make things better for us. i was being nice, cute on the phone. and i really tried for us to talk and be like how it was before but for you to fall asleep while we were doing devotion really really hurt. after we hung up i ended up crying for a bit because it just sucks, i was so excited for this. i thought to myself "this is the right thing to do we are able to truly talk about God and learn about him" And for you to fall asleep our first time doing it, and not just once but 3 times. You just dont care and you arent trying. And it hurts so much because you just dont seem to care about this relationship enough to try now. How is it so easy to be on facebook doing mindless things, and so hard for you to stay awake when you are talking to me, and during a devotion to? I'm tired of trying so hard, im tired of being the one that feels bad for making you feel bad. im tired of getting hurt i just dont want to try anymore. I told myself this was my last real push to try to make thins good between us. and I TRIED MY HEART OUT but it just isnt enough. i was hesitant to type this on here but i dont care anymore, whats the point of this if i dont express how i feel, plus not very many people read this anyway. But if you do, i just want you to know, tonight you have hurt me worse then you have ever did before. but im not going to tell you. im just going to sit here and take it all in and if i have to cry by myself. I really just dont know what to do anymore...
